April 8, 2008
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Master of (Being a) Puppet(s)
One of the most frustrating and annoying things in my life at the moment is the fact that I feel I'm not in complete control of my own life. My future is in the hands of some strangers who're basing their opinion about me on my resume and maybe a brief chat. I know I'm good but to convince them to believe my own assessment of myself to be valid and true is something I struggle each and every time.
Because in new situations I rather stay on the background and observe what's going on before entering the stage myself. And yes, I'm one of those people who you either like or you don't, I'm not the in between sort of person (or so I've been told). But you won't really know that until after a while because I may not show my true colors right away. I'm complicated, I know. However, I honestly do get along with all sorts of people (even though I don't like them all) quite well. And as I try to steer clear of conflicts and such, I'm quite diplomatic most of the time, too.
But back to not being in control. It's actually pretty oppressive feeling not really having much say on your own life. Well, work-wise anyway. And let me remind you that I'm not in this position by my own choice either. I'm just having one of those evenings when all this just seems so utterly unfair and frustrating.
Comments (3)
Keep the faith, and keep doing the right things, it will come around, it does take time.
@RdKingClassic03 - I may feel down at times for a while but I have not lost faith. It's just that I get impatient sometimes even though I know these things might take time. And yeah, I've got another interview to a different place on Friday.
I know what you mean. The problem with searching for a job is that it is, in many ways, beyond your control. It feels as if life is spinning just out of your grasp, and it feels so meaningless. I hate having to try to convince a total stranger that I am who I am. In interviews the power is all one-sided, so I sit there and continuously wonder if I'm saying the "right" thing or giving off the "right" impression... the whole set-up is fake and doesn't really say anything about me. I'm a reserved person, and like you, I don't think anyone could get to know me in 30 minutes and 8 questions.
Oh well. Good luck on Friday!
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